Kendall couldn't imagine how having cancer could impact her abilities to parent her children. Kendall's husband had left her and she was alone with two almost tweens to take care of. Her ex-husband wasn't able to step up because he lived at home with his parents and his own mother was battling stage 4 lung cancer.
Kendall's neighbors helped her get through this difficult time in her life. Or at least she thought they were helping her. In all appearances, Kathy and Jim seemed to have a good marriage and would be the perfect people to step in and help take care of her children as Kendall knew she would be making several trips to a city three hours away. She knew she would be getting sick because of chemotherapy and she didn't want her children to see her in that state. Her children had already been through so much. They had lost a grandmother to ovarian cancer, their aunt to breast cancer, and their great grandmother. They had temporarily lost a step-father and their two younger siblings. Kendall refused to let them be scared for her and wanted them to have the best and stable life possible.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Monday, July 9, 2012
Hope after masectomies
I am new to this daunting adventure of blogging, but I am hoping that I can be help to others going throught the same experiences as I have this past year.
I recently had a double masectomy which I thought would be traumatizing. For everyone, the experience is going to be different. For me, it wasn't as awful as the chemotherapy. For me, I knew getting rid of my breasts meant freedom. I knew this was the major surgery that would lead to possibly not ever having to have chemo again. It also meant, no more bras.
I am sad they are gone though. I have always been well-endowed, and now I feel completely unattractive. I have a wonderful husband who reassures me and tells me beauty is from within, but really? Why do men look at porn on the computer or by playboy? How can he be attracted to me now. My hair is coming back in, but still extremely short as it's only been a couple of months since chemo has stopped. I realize this sounds vein of me, but looks are important.
How many men out there like to play with breasts during sex? And now I don't have any and won't for a year.
My husband and I were seperated before the cancer and I haven't seen him since I've had my double masectomy. We talk on the phone every day and I know he loves me. But that still doesn't take away the fear that he will be repulsed by my scars. I'm repulsed by them. The scars are a constant reminder of everything I've endured this past year.
I know I should be greatful that I'm alive, and I'm not alone and not the only woman out there that has had to go through this.
I reallize with blogging there should be consistency and some kind of point, and I apologize if my first post I'm rambling a lot. I promise in the future I will hopefully be more entertaining.
For those going through the same experiences I am going through now, I welcome responses or questions. Thank you for reading and following.
I recently had a double masectomy which I thought would be traumatizing. For everyone, the experience is going to be different. For me, it wasn't as awful as the chemotherapy. For me, I knew getting rid of my breasts meant freedom. I knew this was the major surgery that would lead to possibly not ever having to have chemo again. It also meant, no more bras.
I am sad they are gone though. I have always been well-endowed, and now I feel completely unattractive. I have a wonderful husband who reassures me and tells me beauty is from within, but really? Why do men look at porn on the computer or by playboy? How can he be attracted to me now. My hair is coming back in, but still extremely short as it's only been a couple of months since chemo has stopped. I realize this sounds vein of me, but looks are important.
How many men out there like to play with breasts during sex? And now I don't have any and won't for a year.
My husband and I were seperated before the cancer and I haven't seen him since I've had my double masectomy. We talk on the phone every day and I know he loves me. But that still doesn't take away the fear that he will be repulsed by my scars. I'm repulsed by them. The scars are a constant reminder of everything I've endured this past year.
I know I should be greatful that I'm alive, and I'm not alone and not the only woman out there that has had to go through this.
I reallize with blogging there should be consistency and some kind of point, and I apologize if my first post I'm rambling a lot. I promise in the future I will hopefully be more entertaining.
For those going through the same experiences I am going through now, I welcome responses or questions. Thank you for reading and following.
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